Chopped Champions Episode 1

Chopped Champions started last night on the Food Network. What? You don't know what Chopped is? OK, here's a quick rundown (directly from the Food Network's website):

"Passion and expertise rule the kitchen on the fast-paced new series, Chopped. Hosted by Ted Allen (Food Detectives), the series challenges four up-and-coming chefs to turn a selection of everyday ingredients into an extraordinary three-course meal. After each course, a contestant gets "chopped" until the last man or woman left standing claims victory. Each week, a rotating panel of culinary elite judges including Alex Guarnaschelli, Aaron Sanchez, and Geoffrey Zakarian will decide whose dishes shine the brightest and award the winner $10,000."

The rounds are broken down by: Appetizer, Entree, and Desert. In each round the chefs open up a basket of mystery ingredients and have 20-30 minutes to prepare their dishes.

OK, got it? 4 chefs, 3 rounds, one cheesy tag line—"You've been Chopped"—and $10,000.

(Confession: I missed the beginning of this episode. I'll write about what I did see and then fill it all in when I watch one of the bazillion repeats)

APPETIZER ROUND: I missed most of it. Oops.
CHOPPED: Chef Michael Carrino. His soup was too think and there wasn't enough crawfish taste. He got let go even though another chef, Natalia Machado, accidentally served a dead, rotting crawfish in her dish. In my book, flavorless food is better than rotten food. Oh well.

ENTREE ROUND:
Remaining Chefs:Natalia Machado, Sandy Davis (a guy), and James Briscione
Ingredients: Quail, Dinosaur Kale, Guava Nectar, Udon Noodles

Pretty boring stuff here. Sandy and Natalia are making similar dishes—quail over noodles and kale with a sauce made from the guava nectar. James is a little more adventurous, adding quail meat wrapped in kale in addition to what Sandy and Natalia did.
James got knocked for serving a small amount of food—it's supposed to be an entree. The judges knocked Sandy for the way his plate looked. As for Natalia, no major blunders, but they weren't bowled over by the flavors, either.
CHOPPED: Chef Sandy.

DESERT ROUND:
Ingredients: Baby Kiwi, Israeli Couscous, Rice Paper, Saffron

Natalia makes a baby kiwi sushi roll with a sour cream and orange topping/ It was serves with caramelized couscous caviar and saffron creme anglaise for dipping.
James made a saffron couscous pudding with a kiwi summer roll. The chefs seem to prefer Natalia's desert, but the final "chop" takes into consideration all three courses.

THE WINNER:James. The reason Natalia lost? Not sure. They came up with reasons that, while deliberating, didn't seem to be as bad as James' missteps, but James took the day.

The Next Food Network Star Season 5 Finale

I've decided to give a blow-by-blow account of the season 5 finale of The Next Food Network Star.

9:00-9:12

They showed some of the finalist's back story...
Jeffrey Saad: Didn't know (or forgot) that he is currently a realtor. Nice to see how he connects with his family through food.
Melissa d'Arabian: Interesting to see how even Melissa's friends mention how they learn from her. She's a teacher, and that's what I think will make her the winner.

Alton Brown came on to tell Jeffrey and Melissa that their challenge is going to be to produce a full pilot episode. FINALLY! A challenge that actually relates to the job! He's going to direct the pilots, and I'm hoping he's not too rough on them. They have never done this before, and seeing him help them will be better than seeing him tear them down.

9:14-:9:19

Melissa is up first to do her pilot. She's looking a little overwhelmed, but who wouldn't be? She survived early stumbles, but ultimately did what she needed to—brought her personality to the party.

Jeffrey goes second, and his problem isn't technique, but personality. He has a great personality, but he is having trouble getting it across. By the end of the taping, he pulls it together.

Base on the pilots, I still think Melissa will win. Her teaching ability and the fact that she speaks to the "everyman/everywoman" will make hers the more attractive show.

9:24-9:30

Bobbie Flay is hosting the finale with Bob Tuschman and Susan Fogle in front of an audience. I wonder when they taped this and how much the audience got to know? If they got to know who the winner is, how did
Bob just mentioned what I said in my last post—that they have two potential stars. Could they do that? Hmm...
All of the former contestants just came out. They are showing some some never seen footage of the contestants. Funny stuff. They spent all of one minute TOTAL talking to the former contestants. Seems like a waste of time.

9:34-9:41

OK, they are back to showing clips of the former contestants. Seeing their reactions is hilarious. Maybe having them there wasn't such a waste.
Time to watch the pilots...
Melissa: "Kitchen Survival Guide is her show. She is teaching (go figure) about her "4 Step Chicken"—a means by which you can start with the same basic steps, but then go in different directions to make each meal different. It's designed to help people make easy, tasty meals at home. She is personable and informative. I would watch her show because I think what she does can be reproduced in any one's home, and would have broad appeal as many people are trying to save money by cooking more at home.

9:44-9:50

Jeffrey is up now: "The ingredient Smuggler" is the name of his show. He is talking about "Harissa" a condiment that is widely used in North Africa. He is really polished and friendly. He is making a steak sandwich with the Harissa, using it with caramelized onions, and also in a spread for the sandwich. He did a great job.
they both got a chance to say why they should be the choice. Melissa even said that if they wanted to make both of them winners, that would be the best scenario to her. There is that thought again. Really making me start to wonder...

Here's my thought: While they were both good, Melissa's is the show I would watch, because I think I can do what she did. More importantly, I would want to make what she made. Harissa seems interesting, but...uh...have you seen it in your supermarket? Jeffrey said each week he will bring a new ingredient from around the world, but how many will I be able to find in my town?

9:55-10:00

Deliberation:
The judges like Jeffrey, and they should. They seem a bit surprised by Melissa, but had nothing but praise. Guess what? Bobby checked with Bob to make sure they only choose one. There it is again. I think both will get shows, but I think they will choose one winner, and I think that winner will be...

Melissa.

I was RIGHT! I have not always agreed with the judges, but I think they go this one right. I wish both Melissa and Jeffrey well, but since they had to pick one, I'm glad they picked her. I look forward to seeing (and reviewing) her show.

"The Next Food Network Star", Season 5, Episode 6

The judges got this one right. On episode 6 of The Next Food Network Star, Michael Proietti was sent home. In a way it's a shame, because what he was really sent home for was being himself. His performance overall wasn't that bad—others had a worse day—but apparently after 6 weeks, the judges decided Michael was too over the top.

And that's my problem with the decision. You see, Michael has always been over the top. As I've stated before, there is no way (in my opinion) that the judges were ever going to build a show around Michael. His personality is too "out there" to draw the ratings numbers The Food Network needs for a show. Personally, I wouldn't watch a show with him in it, but that's not the point. The point is that from day one, Michael has been Michael, and the judges—particularly Bob—said people loved him, although every week the camera showed people turned off by him.

So why was Michael even there? I have a hard time believing he was any different in his audition tape than he was on the show. So if he was "himself" on his audition tape, they should have known that he probably couldn't win. Michael added a lot of "character" to the show, but if that's all they brought him in for, they should be ashamed.

I need to update my guess of who is to go next. I thought it would be Jamika, but Debbie again had honesty issues and that, I believe will get her sent home next.

Who Do I Think Will Win? Glad You Asked!

I thought I would share some quick thoughts on the final five contestants on season five of The Next Food Network Star. Before I do that, I have to first tackle (again)…

The judges. They have their clear favorites, and I think they have lost some objectivity. I really hope they can maintain open-mindedness and fairness down the home-stretch. Here are my thoughts on the contestants. I’ve ranked them first-to-last as far as what I feel their chances are of winning.



Jeffrey Saad: I think this is Jeffrey’s contest to win. I think he is the most relatable contestant left, and his food is almost always good. He seems comfortable in front of the camera, and has a fair amount of polish. Bob, however, doesn’t seem to see it in him, and I don’t know why. He really seems to have blinders on when it comes to Jeffrey. Jeffrey can come across a little “in your face”, but not in a mean way.I like him.

Melissa d’Arabian: If Jeffrey doesn’t win, I think Melissa has a shot. In fact, even in second place, she could come back with a show. It worked for Adam Gertler, right? Melissa is sweet and talented and seems to avoid any big mistakes. She could use a bit of seasoning (FOOD JOKE!), but on a personality-driven network like The Food Network, I think she could do well.

Debbie Lee: Susie loves her. I don’t get it. She’s been good, but there doesn't seem to be anything compelling about her that makes me think I would want to tune in to a show that she was hosting. Nice lady, but in my opinion, not a Food Network Star.

Jamika Pessoa: After starting out strong, Jamika has really fallen hard. Now, she doesn’t even seem to want to be there. I just don’t think her personality is strong enough to help her win this, and from a cooking standpoint, I have no idea what she is about. I shouldn’t be able to say that this late into the competition.

Michael Proietti: This one hurts to write. Michael may be the most talented chef in the bunch, and that includes everybody from the beginning of the season. The problem is, this is The Next Food Network Star, not Top Chef. Personality may be more important than even the food in terms of making a show, and I just don’t believe that The Food Network can ever build a show around his personality. Michael constantly referring to himself as “the woman in the kitchen”, is just little over the top for the Food Network's demographics.

Bob keeps saying how much audiences love Michael, but it seems every week the camera catches someone in the audience being uncomfortable by something Michael has said. Bob has MAJOR blinders on when it comes to Michael. My goodness, this past week, he referred to the cameras as “the depths of hell” and still stayed on. I’m pretty sure all of the shows have cameras…

By the way, I’m not suggesting for a minute that Michael change anything about himself. In fact, I blame the judges that selected him for putting him in a situation where he may not be able to be successful. I wish Michael well, but I think for his sake and for the sake of finding someone that can carry a show, this is his week to go.

So...How Are They Doing?

Ok, were are down to the Final Five in season 5 of The Next Food Network Star. Before the season started, I wrote about what I liked and didn’t like, and what I hoped to see and hope to not see. I think it’s time to see how things are going…

THE CHALLENGES:

This is the one that I reeeeeaaaally can’t understand. This contest is to find a person that can carry a show by themselves. So, what did they do last week? PAIR THE CONTESTANTS UP! So, they take people who are already feeling awkward, and now make them work with someone else. So, what useful information can be gleaned? I have no idea. Even if someone performed well, SO WHAT? That will not be the format of their show should they win, so it's just a waste of time.

THE JUDGES:

Fortunately, they have been nicer than in years past, but they still leave me scratching my head. They genuinely seem surprised when people that have never cooked on camera have trouble cooking on camera. If they want someone with that kind of polish, make it a prerequisite in your selection process. And of course, as stated before, the challenges are rarely conducive to getting the information that they need to find a star. Why am I mentioning this in “The Judges” portion of this post? Because two of the judges—Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogelson— are the Senior Vice President, Programming and Production and the Vice President, Marketing & Brand Strategy respectively. In other words: it’s their baby.

WHERE TO GO?
Well, my hope is now that they have thinned the herd, they will have time to find out who these people are and what they can do. Hopefully the challenges will be geared toward that, and the judges will be mindful of the “big picture”.

Katie Cavuto Failed her Mid-Term

Well, episode 5 of season 5 of The Next Food network Star has come and gone, and contestant Katie Cavuto is gone with it. They called this week the Mid-term, and they gave Katie a failing grade.

Once again, I have to say…the judges blew it.

If they were going to eliminate Katie, one of the weeks that she served raw food would have been the time to do it. She had one of her best weeks this week, and now they decide it’s time for her to go. What got me the most was the criticism that her exaggerated facial expressions were too scary on camera. although they admitted they were fine in front of the kids. Why the judges believe they can breath life into contestants that are complete duds on camera, but can’t teach someone how to tone down their exuberance is beyond me. Katie, you may not have been the best, but you certainly deserved better.

FAVORITE MOMENT:
OK, I’m being sarcastic. Bobby Flay mentioned that Debbie is wearing thin the “I’m Korean”-thing. First of all, the challenges the contestants are put through every week have them in front of brand new audiences that haven’t heard that. Sure, the judges have, but that’s not Debbie’s fault. Second, what if someone asked Bobby to get through a cooking segment without using the words ancho, pablano, or blue corn? He might not have anything to say at all! “Hello, pot? This is the kettle”.

Housewife 2.0 Gets Recalled

Alas, poor Jen, we hardly knew you.

On the Season 5 premier of The Next Food Network Star, Jen Isham—Housewife 2.0, she called herself—was sent home.

Let's recap:

The 10 contestants we divided into two teams, and given the task of creating a menu for a party commemorating the 16th anniversary of the Food Network (FN). The guests were many of the Food Network personalities and executives, as well as other famous guests.

Both teams made beef tenderloin (yawn!) and then the individuals on the team made their dishes. Melissa d'Arabian made an apple tart in a way that she never had before, and the results impressed everyone. Everyone else's food—even the things that were cooked well—lacked any real imagination. Leading that lack of imagination was a green bean dish that, Masaharu Morimoto said could be found at any supermarket. That, my friends, is a culinary face-slap.

Although Jen's cooking in this episode was pretty pedestrian, should she have been the one to go home? Maybe. Maybe not.

If I had a vote, I would have sent Debbie packing. First of all, she lied about coming in under budget for their food shopping. But Debbie wasn't done. She came up with the great idea of taking store bought angel food cake, dicing it up, and slopping (yes, slopping) some toppings on it. I don't believe that cleaning crew would have been impressed by this. The FN personalities certainly weren't. One of my favorite moments of the episode was when the Ace of Cakes himself, Duff Goldman, looked at what was about to be offered and said "You're going to serve me cake"? This would be like giving Thomas Kinkade an Elvis on black velvet painting. The biggest issue here is that she didn't really even try. When the judges asked who was responsible for the angel food cake, Debbie said it was the whole team. It wasn't.

Remember when I said this show is about more than just food? It's about personality. It's about inviting someone into your home. People certainly don't want to watch people they don't trust. Debbie lost the trust of the judges lying about the budget, and her team over the cake. Because this competition is about more than the food, I would have sent her packing.

Random Thoughts:

One thing I don't like about shows like The Next Food Network Star is people getting eliminated the first day/episode. It's a new environment, new equipment, new...everything, and I don't think you always get a good read on your talent pool right away. I would prefer the judges eliminate two contestants in the second episode, weighing out what they observe over two competitions.

The judges were fairly pointed in their criticism, but avoided being snarky. I hope that continues.

A man will win this year. There are some good ladies, but the men have more formal experience, and the challenges they face will tend to favor experience and training over personality, even though personality is supposed to be almost as important. It's not right, but again, I repeat myself.

The Next Food Network Star Season 5: Looking ahead

Well, it's time for Season 5 of The Next Food Network Star. This is (or should be) an unparalleled opportunity for someone that sees themselves as the next Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri to show their stuff. And, unlike the Bravo's Top Chef—which I also love—this competition is about food and personality. The winner here gets their own limited-run show with the possibility of getting renewed for more, so it's about more than just who cooks the best.

While I'm looking forward to this season, I'm hoping the powers-that-be avoid some of the mistakes of years-past. Don't misunderstand me, I love The Food Network, but there are some things about this particular competition that keep it from being as great as it could be. So here, for your consideration, are some of my pet-peeves and suggestions.

The Name:
"The Next Food Network Star". Really? This is season 5, and other than the ubiquitous Guy Fieri (season 2 winner), they have failed to produce a breakout star. Aaron McCargo Jr. (last year's winner) seems like a nice guy, but think quick—when is his show on? Yeah, me neither. In fact, the runner-up last year, Adam Gertler, wound up with a prime time show, while Aaron got a weekend slot.

Whether it's their contestant selection process, the shows' format, or the judging...I don't know, but eventually the failure to produce a star falls back on the people running the company. To their credit, they are still better than those "America's Next Top Model" folks.

Picking A Winner:
Remember when we viewers got to pick the winner? Me too. Even though the viewers are the ones that picked the aforementioned Mr. Fieri, we have been removed from the selection process. I don't know if they will continue that this year, but I believe viewers will respond better to a winner they helped select, rather than being told "Here's the person we know you will like".

"A Food Network Star has to...":

If this isn't the most over-used phrase on the show, it's in the top three. It's not just that they seemingly use it constantly throughout each episode, but often what they are saying doesn't make sense. Once, they had the contestants do a cooking segment where the producers hid a piece of equipment to see how the contestant would overcome it. The justification? A Food Network Star has to be able to adapt and think on their feet. Of course, saying "cut", finding what you need, and then starting again is what they probably actually do. Or remember last season when Nipa lost it and walked off of the set? When she came back, She was told that if one of the Food Network Stars (there it is again!) had done that, that would have been their last show. Yeah...I'm sure if Giada throws a fit one day, they will fire her. Uh-huh. Sure.

Let The Contestants Be Who They Are:

Follow the logic: You ask people to send in a tape showing off who they are and what they can do so you can (for the winner) build a show around them. You select a group that you find unique and promising. Then, once the competition begins, you put them through challenges that revolve around seeing how well they perform in the formats of shows you already have. If a contestant fails at an Iron Chef America or Dinner Impossible challenge, all you have learned is that they aren't good in a format for which you had no intention of hiring them anyway. I don't get that.

Protect Your Brand/The Simon Factor:

Why do we watch cooking shows? For the food? Sure, but the networks don't hype the food nearly as much as they do the personalities. We like Rachael Ray, we find Alton Brown to be funny and quirky, and Duff Goldman makes us laugh. Then, when they become guest judges, they lose the personalities we have come to know and love and become Simon Cowell. It's not smart to take the people we tune in to see because we like them, and then show them being unlikeable. After seeing a (I can't stop myself) Food Network Star being snarky as a judge, will I believe them as the lovable person-next-door on their own show? The only personality that I have not seen succumb to this is Paula Dean. She's pretty much always just Paula, and that's a good thing.

Another error (in my opinion) is the way they treat the contestants. Throughout any episode, we learn about the contestants—where they came from, why they love cooking, their dreams and aspirations. The producers draw us in, get us interested in the people, and then let us watch as the judges treat them rudely. Don't get me wrong, the judges have to judge. They have to point out the problems. But this show doesn't have "villains" as contestants. As I begin to like a particular contestant, if a judge is rude or crass in how they deal with them, I don't think less of the contestant, I think less of the judge. I don't see how this is good for The Food Network long-term.

It may not sound like it, but I really am a huge Food Network fan. Despite the criticisms I mentioned, I really am looking forward to this season of The Next Food Network Star, and hope they find someone that lives up to the title.

That's good for the network, and for us.

I really like Ted Allen—So who is THIS guy?

Anybody remember the show "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy"? The show had five guys come to the rescue of some helpless sap that was in desperate need of a whole-life makeover. One of the guys helped out with clothing, one with interior design, one shot energy bolts from his eyes...wait—that's the X-Men. Anyway, my favorite on that show was Ted Allen. Ted was the Food and Wine expert, and I thought he was the best thing on the show. He was knowledgeable, relatable and smart. I don't remember listening to any of his recommendations and going, "huh?". He always seemed to make sense.

Well, Ol' Teddy has himself a couple of shows on The Food Network now: Food Detectives, and Chopped.

Food Detectives is an interesting enough premise. Think Mythbusters for foodies. They answer burning questions like, "Does eating turkey really make you sleepy?", "Is the last sip of a bottle of water really mostly backwash (no, by the way)?", "What are the effects of MSG", etc. The problem is, the relatable and knowledgeable Ten Allen that I used to like has been replaced by a Ted Allen that is part carnival barker, and part Billy Mays (the Oxy Clean guy). Okay, that last one may have been redundant, but you get my point. Ted always seems like he is "doing" a character—putting on a voice. At its best, it's annoying, at its worst, it's unwatchable. Ted comes across as insincere and hokey, and it just doesn't work. How the good folks at The Food Network haven't worked with him on this, I don't know.

Chopped is Ted's other show. Here, he is the host of a cooking competition which has 3 rounds and begins with 4 chefs. At the end of each round, the chef's offerings are judged, and one chef is...eliminated? removed? excused? No, he is "chopped". Once again we are dealing with Ted using his put-on announcer and host voice, and again it just doesn't work. Good premise. Bad execution. I don't know how the contestants stand there with a straight face while they listen to Ted say, "I'm sorry chef "X", you have been chopped".

Quick side note: The blame for these types of hokey taglines, as well as most of our modern day problems—global warming, over-population, people putting 13 items through the 10-item express lane—can all be blamed on Donald Trump. People have been getting eliminated from competitions on TV for decades. In the past, a simple "Thank you for playing" would send the contestant back to their regular life. Ever since The Donald uttered his first "You're Fired" on The Apprentice, everybody has been searching for their own cool "send 'em packing" phrase. The problem is, most of them seem contrived and silly. Thanks, Donald.

Despite how how much I don't care for Ted on Food Detectives and Chopped, I still haven't given up on him completely. He occasionally is a judge on Iron Chef America, and it's there that I see the real Ted Allen. When he is judging, he's not trying to "do" a character. He's just regular ol' Ted Allen.

That's the guy I like.