I really like Ted Allen—So who is THIS guy?

Anybody remember the show "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy"? The show had five guys come to the rescue of some helpless sap that was in desperate need of a whole-life makeover. One of the guys helped out with clothing, one with interior design, one shot energy bolts from his eyes...wait—that's the X-Men. Anyway, my favorite on that show was Ted Allen. Ted was the Food and Wine expert, and I thought he was the best thing on the show. He was knowledgeable, relatable and smart. I don't remember listening to any of his recommendations and going, "huh?". He always seemed to make sense.

Well, Ol' Teddy has himself a couple of shows on The Food Network now: Food Detectives, and Chopped.

Food Detectives is an interesting enough premise. Think Mythbusters for foodies. They answer burning questions like, "Does eating turkey really make you sleepy?", "Is the last sip of a bottle of water really mostly backwash (no, by the way)?", "What are the effects of MSG", etc. The problem is, the relatable and knowledgeable Ten Allen that I used to like has been replaced by a Ted Allen that is part carnival barker, and part Billy Mays (the Oxy Clean guy). Okay, that last one may have been redundant, but you get my point. Ted always seems like he is "doing" a character—putting on a voice. At its best, it's annoying, at its worst, it's unwatchable. Ted comes across as insincere and hokey, and it just doesn't work. How the good folks at The Food Network haven't worked with him on this, I don't know.

Chopped is Ted's other show. Here, he is the host of a cooking competition which has 3 rounds and begins with 4 chefs. At the end of each round, the chef's offerings are judged, and one chef is...eliminated? removed? excused? No, he is "chopped". Once again we are dealing with Ted using his put-on announcer and host voice, and again it just doesn't work. Good premise. Bad execution. I don't know how the contestants stand there with a straight face while they listen to Ted say, "I'm sorry chef "X", you have been chopped".

Quick side note: The blame for these types of hokey taglines, as well as most of our modern day problems—global warming, over-population, people putting 13 items through the 10-item express lane—can all be blamed on Donald Trump. People have been getting eliminated from competitions on TV for decades. In the past, a simple "Thank you for playing" would send the contestant back to their regular life. Ever since The Donald uttered his first "You're Fired" on The Apprentice, everybody has been searching for their own cool "send 'em packing" phrase. The problem is, most of them seem contrived and silly. Thanks, Donald.

Despite how how much I don't care for Ted on Food Detectives and Chopped, I still haven't given up on him completely. He occasionally is a judge on Iron Chef America, and it's there that I see the real Ted Allen. When he is judging, he's not trying to "do" a character. He's just regular ol' Ted Allen.

That's the guy I like.